Just look at the flowers: A walking dead review

This week on The Walking dead we take a look into the mind and heart of sickness and compassion. Still on the train tracks, heading fast to sanctuary we regroup with Carol and Tyrese as they try to keep their three small girls safe. Tyrese is still injured and it has fallen on Carol to keep pushing the group forward while trying to heal her male counter part. Carol has come a long way from the mousey beaten woman that she used to be, she has long grown into her hardened heart since her daughter was taken from her and it is in this episode she explains to Mica how that really happens.

It’s no secret the Lizzie and Mica have a hard time seeing and reacting to the walkers. Lizzie sees misunderstood and “different” people. Mica, on the other hand sees the walkers for what they are, however Mica can not seem to kill and it’s not just walkers. I really loved this combination, to me it was something I could see happening to protected small children in a Zombie world. To grasp that these once people, now want to kill and rip you apart is too much to grasp for most adults let alone children. A child’s mind is a delicate frame and it is easily shaken, if not altogether demolished.

After it is discovered that Lizzie is trying to befriend and, even worse feed the walkers it is put together that she was the one that had been cutting up animals in the jail as a form of entertainment. Her delicate mind is on the verge of a total collapse and it takes a burned walker attack to push her over the edge. Believing that her brush with death has inspired enough fear in her to stay away the adults in the party leave the trio of girls behind as they go to hunt dear. What they return to is every parents nightmare. To show them that walkers are people, Lizzie has killed Mica and demands that they wait till she turns so they can hear the walkers and see them the way Lizzie does.

So what do you do? Obviously Lizzie is sick, and at this point she is too far gone to be saved. The bigger thing to me is that her sickness has truly killed the compassion in the group. Mica didn’t have a mean bone in her body, and in that she didn’t stand a chance against Lizzie’s darkness. The hardest part is now on Carol’s shoulders, as she must carry out what is good for both Lizzie and for the world she may encounter. Carol decides that the best thing is to carry out a scene very reminiscent of Of Mice and Men. Telling her to look at the flower, Carol has to do what I could never do, even if it is what’s right for a very disturbed little girl.

Through this grief Carol finally finds the courage to confess to Tyrese that it was her that killed his girlfriend and David. Even going so far as to offer a gun for his judgment, Carol explains that we all have to do what we feel needs to be done to protect the rest of the world. Tyrese explains that he can not forget, but he does forgive Carol for trying to protect everyone. He knows that they can not stay in the cabin which has become an illusion of safety and that they must try to get to the sanctuary, although it’s his worst fear, he must get backto being around people. He must begin again and move past this sadness and loss.

It was a beautifully haunting and altogether shattering episode as we see the spiral down to the bottom and from that cold and dark place, a new foot hold grows.

To the Sanctuary: A Walking Dead Review

Well walker fans, it’s that time again as we check in with this week’s instalment of The Walking Dead entitled “Alone.”  We all remember last week’s awkward moments between Daryl and Beth.  Just about everyone I know was demanding a sex scene, except me who was looking for way more walker blood from an episode devoted to Daryl.  This leads me to believe one fact, Beth is a total buzz kill.  Still, looking back on the preview of this week on last week’s episode, I am a little let down.

Now, last week we were promised so really creepy and exciting images, so when you open with Bob the ex-medic just tromping through the back woods of Georgia looking sad and empty I have to say I was a little confused.  Bob, who has disclosed a drinking problem, caused his share of shit for everyone around him and a lack of real useful inclination to be useful has earned him moment of “how I got here.”  This shell of Bob stumbles upon a less battle scared version of Daryl and Glenn, yeah remember when Glenn didn’t look like death a degree warmer?  Me too.  Bob reveals he’s bad luck; he’s already lost two groups.  Daryl isn’t fazed or too impressed with Bob; still he asks him the questions, “how many walkers?” and “how many humans?”  Bob’s answers impressed me; of course he had lost count of the walkers but the humans: “only one.”  When asked why he did it, I felt an actual bit of respect for Bob, “Because she asked me to…”  Bam right there, in that sentence Bob was the man, if it weren’t for the next exchange that elevated him to rock star status.  Daryl asks if Bob has any questions for them.  Bob explains that to him, it doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter who they are or where the camp is, and I think I understand why.  After being with two groups and losing them all over again, a new group is just the same story on repeat.  See the man is stone cold bad ass.  I take back half the mean stuff I said.

Fast forward to the present-ish, Bob, Sasha and Maggie are battling Zombies in the fog.  Now when I say fog, I mean shit so thick that you couldn’t see how many fingers you were holding up if they weren’t right in front of your face.  Bob is almost taken out in the wave of walkers but is saved by a thick gauze bandage, still there’s a huge problem, the trio is down to 6 bullets.

Back to Daryl and Beth, we’ve come upon Daryl attempting to give a tracking lesson and the atmosphere is thick with awkward.  It feels more like an outing that adventurous couples do.  Ya know, “hey babe why don’t we go spend some time together and you can teach me something…”  Until they find the walker they were tracking, and in an attempt to creep up on it Beth steps on, I want to say some kind of animal trap, whatever it is she’s injured.  Daryl, once again has got to clean up the mess and take care of Beth.  I’m starting to believe that she’s supposed to be this forever damsel in distress… I liked her better when she was just a juke box.  I have to believe many women feel this way this week, as it is Beth who gets a piggy back ride from Daryl through a cemetery.  Now, choice of venue might not be the best, you cannot tell me that Norman Reedus giving you a piggy back ride isn’t a fantasy.  The fun ride is short lived as the two stop to remember Hershel a grave marked “beloved father.”    It’s a sweet scene and you see the humanity in it, but it can be convoluted if you don’t know what’s going on.

Back in the fog, Maggie is still determined to go out and find Glenn and has found a supporter in Bob, who is torn between believing in Maggie’s cause and his feelings for Sasha.  I have to say, Sasha’s idea to build a new camp, would probably be right up my alley if it weren’t for finding the sign advertising a “sanctuary.”  Sasha warns that it seems way too good to be true.  Now, I’m with Sasha’s paranoia but, when everywhere is danger, paranoia is hesitation and that is certain death.  Bob agrees with Maggie that trying to find this place, that’s probably the only shot they have left and with a 2 to 1 vote they all head to the sanctuary.

Daryl and Beth have secured themselves in a funeral home and there appears to be signs of life, everything seems neat including freshly prepared cadavers, creepy!  Beth decides that the cadavers aren’t disgusting or weird but, beautiful.  Beth, stop looking for signs of humanity in the crazy.  A search of the house reveals stacks of food in the cupboard without a speck of dust; this is obviously someone’s strong hold.  Now they have to decide if they are going to stay and wait or not.  While they wait, the musical styling’s of Beth on the piano while Daryl takes a nap in a coffin, and I cringe a tiny bit.  Till they pull the shot out and all over again my heart breaks, there is something terrible and sad and hauntingly beautiful all at the same time to this image.

Bob and Sasha have a debate about the plan to go to the sanctuary; Sasha pleads him to rethink the idea of creating a strong hold.  Bob seems firm in the idea that they are going through with the plan, but it doesn’t stop Maggie from over hearing the plea and coming up with a plan to head out on her own in search of Glenn.  Bob isn’t going to let her go it alone and tries to make Sasha come with him.  The last thing he wants for any of them is to be alone.

Maggie is hot on the trail and decides that just in case Glenn doesn’t get long distance brainwave, decides to write out a message in walker blood.  Also a good way for Bob to catch up to her, thank goodness for bloody bread crumbs right?

Daryl and Beth are still playing house, and it’s reading like newlyweds till they are rang to the door by a mangy looking dog.  I’m sorry I could not be that calm in that kind of place, this is all reading to me like a freaking death trap.  I think this is a kind of hunting ground.  Like someone is watching.  How do you not see that?!

Sasha’s still bitching away in the forest and trying to get Bob to stop with her, in any other universe it could be one of those, “baby don’t leave me” movies.  Bob explains that he’s not going to let Maggie do this search alone, that they have to keep moving because, maybe there is a chance at hope.  Bob goes so far as to call Sasha out on her fear of not wanting to know what became of Tyrese, and I have to wonder what the hell is going on with them and the post-apocalyptic cleavers anyway?  I guess it was too much for one episode… Anyway, Bob might want to step that back, calling a woman out can be strenuous for your health man. 

Back at the white trash brunch of PB&J, soda and pickled pigs feet, Daryl and Beth start to discuss how there just may be good people left in the world and are giving some serious thought to staying for the owners of the strong hold.  The moment gets really intense emotionally when walkers start pouring into the house.  Daryl is left to fight through an entire room of walkers only to find Beth thrown in a car and the car speed off into the night, so what does our tracker do?  Run after it of course.  Too bad the car loses its tracks on pavement and he crumples to the ground at a cross road.

Still on a mission, Sasha has found a building that she thinks could make a good strong hold for her and Bob.  Bob, isn’t stopping, he won’t stop till he finds Maggie and another group.  He’s no longer afraid.  In a passionate moment he kisses Sasha, hoping this will make her see that she doesn’t want to be alone either.  Sasha is still ruled by fear as she enters the building, it looks like a part of her is aching with the silence, until she looks out a window to see Maggie.

Maggie apparently can read Sasha’s mind or something, cause after an epic battle scene (Maggie uses a traffic sign as an axe, how awesome is that?!) she explains she’s been waiting for them.  She knows that it’s asking a lot but she needs Sasha and Bob to help her, and deep down she knows they need her too.  This finally gets through to Sasha, really?  Bob’s emotional plea gets a whole lot of nothing but Maggie says please and it’s fine.

Still a pile at the cross a road, Daryl is surrounded by a pack of ruffians and knocks the leader, Joe square on his ass.  Now, who are these ruffians?  Remember the invaders from the house Rick was recovering in?  Yep same assholes, including “dibs” guy, and they are certainly a bunch of rowdy mother truckers.  I’m sorry these guys are a horrible cliché, still outnumbered and without sufficient ammunition, Daryl makes a kind of deal with the devil.

In the fleeting end of the episode, the trio of Bob, Sasha, and Maggie are reunited and are heading on the tracks to the sanctuary and in the last shot, so is Glenn.  

Carvers: Making Art with a knife

The SyFy channel is always on at the Lovett’s nest, largely due to really bad B horror flicks and my obsession with monster make up.  Yes, I did just look off longingly into the distance wishing I had followed my heart to become a special effects artist.   We all have dreams, mine are usually crushed, that’s why I blog.  Anywho… So Tuesday, March 4^th’s face off ends (you can read my review below if you missed it… and catch my weekly take by following my blog *hint hint*) and what flashes on my screen but a SyFy Channel First: Carvers. 

This show follows a pair of master sculptors, Ray Villafane and Andy Bergholtz, who have made a life for themselves by making fantastical works of art chiseled from an array of mediums including chocolate, pumpkins, ice, the list goes on…  The creative side of me would not let me change the channel, yes I sat through an hour of people making monsters and now I was going to sit through an hour of people sculpting creatures, welcome to Tuesday.  So how does one get into the carving game?  Well this whole venture started with Ray’s love of art, and abilities to pick awesome friends.  Ray taught k-12 art for many years before deciding to go all in on the sculpting venture; thankfully he had his trust partner Andy to follow him into the battle.  Remember kids, good friends will help you move your art, great friends help you make it!

The first challenge the boys faced was to create a chocolate Medusa bust for the screening party for Face Off Season 6 at Mackenzie Westmore’s beautiful estate.  You had me at German chocolate, oh and you have over 50 pounds of it to use?  Curse you television for showing me that everyone has the sweet treats I crave. 

So how do they pull this off?  Well first they need a model, for that they enlist the help of Andy’s wife.  Andy’s wife has got to be one of the best sports I have ever scene as they take a capture of her face in plaster and silicone.  This is a long and “pressing” process where she is practically entombed in this stuff for hours.  How does she keep from killing him?  Flat out, he would be very, very dead.  After he completes the mold, and Andy is released from her plaster prison the duo can begin tempering the chocolate to get their tasty base.  The goal is to detail a bust and then fabricate the snakes out of foam to be covered in chocolate.  The difficulty?  Chocolate melts as it gets warm, so essentially, you can’t hold or handle the medium like you would normally do.  The two soldier on in pursuit of chocolate deity fame as they prep for the reveal, bonus? We get a beautiful view of both Mackenzie and her exquisite home; I guess when you spend time around monsters you need some beauty to balance out the beast.  This is exactly why the bust is a perfect addition to her home as they present a gorgeously scrumptious demi-goddess entombed in decadence, she’s positively good enough to eat, and Mackenzie does with a chomp on the nose.

The next half of the show finds our carvers in a battle for pumpkin supremacy overseas.  The pair has been hired to carve 70 pumpkins to create an exhibit at Ocean World, a theme park in Hong Kong, China.  First off, this theme park looks awesome so I’m pretty jealous already.   It’s like Sea World mixing with Six Flags or something.

So right off the bat, there aren’t too many pumpkins in of show size and quality in China, and oh yeah they need 70!  Well lucky for these two they have amazing friends Chris and Sue to help shoulder the burden and several large pumpkins from Kentucky being shipped in.  Now, this is only the beginning to the largest pumpkin fiasco they have ever faced.  You can hire helpers and ship in produce but, you cannot control the humidity in China!  As they begin to work on a giant Cthulhu like creature they soon run into a problem of mushy proportions, their pumpkin is literally melting mid sculpt.  Every cut they make wicks away into a gelatinous, orangey yellow goop.

In response to the goo, the boys change the design to become three expressive pumpkins trying to escape a tank of razor sharp fanged fish.  They complete the project but, something is missing.  As they look over the 1000 lb.  Pumpkin on display they decide that they need to carve one more!  They set upon the pumpkin to create a huge Jack-O-Lantern and pumpkin goblin of grotesque beauty.  As the crowd of on lookers invades “Pumpkin House,” the guys are presented with the record for the largest display of carved pumpkins and a certificate from Ripley’s Believe it or Not.  Pretty cool right?

So that’s it for the “First look” at Carvers.  Do this show a favor, watch it at SyFy.com, and if you like it give it the thumbs up and let them know they should give it a very serious go.  There is always room for more art out there, take the time to enjoy it.

Free samples? Not always a good idea....

Some time ago I came across an add for fragrance samples from a company called Pinrose, https://www.pinrose.com/, all you had to do was take a small test and they would match you with 3 fragrances based on the personality questions.  I can honestly say I never turn down beauty samples, let alone ones that give me a fun little quiz.  So as I clicked away I started to notice that the answers were as stereotypical as they were broad or vague.  Not to worry the samples are completely free so I’ll excuse it.  What I think is somewhat patronizing is that the whole process of getting the three samples takes so long I had nearly forgotten that I had placed an order at all.

Still when the envelope came I had a spring of glee and optimism.  Truth be told, I really just love getting free samples in the mail.  The packaging is quite lovely actually, each sample wipe was sealed and pressed in pouches with the information about each sent and they even gave a little journal to record your thoughts about the samples you received.

In this package I received:

Sugar Bandit:  “Dish out toothaches and heartaches.  Vanilla, cedar wood, and white chocolate create the perfect combination of sweet and sexy.”  Crafted by “Master perfumer,” Harry Fremont, this sample smacked me right in the face with a sent that I could only describe as “soap-a-chino.”  The vanilla and white chocolate came on very strong but the cedar mixed in to have a weird finish that smelled of some kind of strange soap.  It reminded me of a pistachio body wash.  Thankfully they only linger around two hours, unfortunately the smell gets worse before it dissipates and in the end there is a wisp of sandalwood.  I love sandalwood as incense, not as a perfume.

Moonlight Gypsy:  “What do you wear to a party in the forest?  Create some mystery with the enchanting notes of cardamom, orange blossom and patchouli.”  Crafted by perfumer, Ilias  Ermenidis this sent was completely disgusting.  I put it on and immediately felt like a dirty hippie.  Within 5 minutes I was desperate to scrub it off; unfortunately for the beautiful lunch I was trying to enjoy the smell clouded the whole experience.  Bleh!

Pillowtalk Poet:  “Nothing to wear is the perfect excuse for spending all day in bed.  Slip into this fresh laundry mix of powder, ambergris, and musk.”  Crafted by “Master perfumer,” Vito Lenoci, this is probably the only sent that I could stand wearing.  Why? Because it smells like my fabric softener, floor deodorizer powder and air fresheners… I’m kind of a fan of fresh linen.

In the end, Pinrose, you were a lot of wait for nothing… I’m glad that’s all I paid. 

Gotta catch up to the walkers! A two week review of the walking dead

So there has been a laps in my coverage of The Walking Dead, for that I’m sorry but in my defense it hasn’t truly been all that exciting and I’ve been buried under paperwork.  So picking up where we left off, we roll with the punches. 

Speaking of rolling with the punches, I have to say Beth is taking all of this incredibly well as she narrates an opening with pages of her diary.   Now those hope flooded pages are kindling as she tromps through the Georgia swamp land with my future husband, Daryl.  Always good to see my “Cajon washed ex-skin head.”  To be honest though, the pair together makes me uncomfortable.  She just looks like a younger version of Andria and that didn’t end well.

The twosome track the other prison survivors to find that there have been walkers along the same path and are attacked by a group of flesh eating monsters.  This gives Daryl very little hope and he makes a very hurtful remark about Hershel’s faith and how it did little to save him from the Governor.  Even I had to call too soon on that one.  After they come upon what they assume to be the last bodies of the prison survivors, Beth seems to lose her “faith” all together.

In the true spirit of the series however, AMC takes us back in time to give us the play by play of what really went down.  We find that Judith is alive!  Way to go baby ass kicker!  She is being cared for by the pair of sisters that had previously been entrusted to Carol who are now traveling with Tyrese.  To say that he is out of his element, well that is an understatement and with the added stress of a zombie dinner bell I’m sure right now he is wondering how he got roped into this.  The elder sister at this point is most likely a sociopath, so far she is killing bunnies, making cryptic comments and after being entrusted with baby Judith as Tyrese rushes in the direction of screams tries a “mercy killing.”  Yeah I don’t need her number for babysitting, thanks.

Thankfully, baby Judith is saved by Carol who has apparently been wondering the wilderness of Atlanta.  Way to go Carol.  With the last breath of a dying man the new family is given directions to follow the tracks to a new built sanctuary.  Hey, what the heck?! Did we learn nothing from the Woodberry disaster?  I mean honestly?  There are no safe places any more people. 

Maggie, Sasha, and the drunken medic seemed to have made a small little pack.  Maggie of course wants to find Glenn; instead she finds what remains of the bus.  A den of walkers.  Still she needs to find confirmation so they agree to let the walkers out of the bus.  Setting up a head shot gauntlet the three begin to take out the passengers one by one.  In the spray of congealed blood paste and intense knife blows, however she cannot seem to find Glenn among the brain munchers.  The reason she can’t find her hubby?  He’s still at the prison.  Seriously people keep track of your shit.

That’s right; Glenn has all the luck as he awakes from a black out safe on a parapet above a gaggle of face eaters.  That is one tough pizza delivery man damn it.  Looking out on the colossal cluster-fuck the prison has become, what does he do? Calls for Maggie.  Really?!  Sure she has been fighting through an over run prison just to wait on you to come around…  Sure…  Make sure to stop into your old cell and cry over a picture of her.  That is totally going to help you out.

Some good comes out of Glenn’s exploration; he finds armor in the riot room and decides he is getting out.  Wait didn’t they try this approach when they needed to clear the prison?  Well either way it gets him through and who do we find sitting in a gated area just staring into the middle distance?  The lesbian sister of the governor’s last lover, awesome.  Two of the wishiest washy characters in the whole damn show are going to team up and find the remaining survivors, well if there are any.  Mind you, Glenn is still recouping from his illness, and there is no cure for her lameness so I’m seeing good things aren’t you?  Well that is until the walkers attack.  Glenn passes out from exhaustion, again… and that leaves Miss Billy Badass to fight them off.  Surprisingly, she can handle herself around a pack of walkers and puts on quiet the display of zombie killing fortitude.  You do your thing girl!  Now all we need is a new character to really drive home this episode… oh wait here comes a military vehicle to introduce Sargent Abraham Ford.  Yeah, not amused.

So, after that episode I really had no feeling one way or the other about any of the characters, everyone seems to be looking for each other and in the back of their minds already resigned that their loved ones are dead.  If the last part of this season is going to be everyone chasing their tales looking for everyone else then color me pissed off and I hope the walkers eat everyone.  Yes, I carried that thought inside me for a week solid and then this little beauty dropped on the screen…

The next week of the walking dead opened with our new character acting all macho man on a set of three walkers.  This guy is most definitely ex-military in all senses of the word.  I do believe that this man would have definitely been a lifer.  So what does “Billy Badass” do?  Start making little flirty quips… I thought she liked a softer touch… okay okay we are out of here.

Let’s check in on the inter-racial post-apocalyptic version of leave it to beaver.  Rick is still frail from his ordeal and it has fallen on Carl and Michonne to try to keep all three of them alive.  How better to do that than by having a breakfast moment that includes fashion advice, revelations about soy milk and a slip about Judith that leads to a quick exit by Carl.  See it’s life as if the walkers never happened right?!  Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

Well walkers or no there is a ton of tender moments between Rich and Michonne as they come to an understanding that they will travel together and try to keep each other going for Carl’s sake.  How do you solidify that bond?  Take the little psycho on a food round up trip and leave the gimp at home.  Rich’s only slipped into several comas since leaving the prison and is still weak from his injuries… what could possibly go wrong?

So now our trio is a duet on a raiding party.  We all say how stingy Carl was with pudding, what is it that Michonne goes after?  Easy cheese!  All joking aside Michonne uses this time to get closer to Carol by telling him about her lost child, Andre Anthony.  This set’s Carl off in a whirl of questions about who Michonne used to be.  And the game of one room, one answer begins.

Back at the house Rick is awaken by the sound of boisterous intruders who obviously have some very devious plans.  Hurray for nefarious marauders!  Well sheriff, where do you hide?  What do you do?  Quickly grab all your shit and dive under the bed.  Congratulations you are officially a 5 year old girl!

Michonne seems to toy with Carl’s interest until he hits the nail on the head about how long ago she lost him.  Yet another touching moment, before they kick the door in on the next room.  That room was by far the scariest I have seen on this show.  Not because of walkers or gore but because it obviously belonged to a small child.  Its pink nursery style walls set me so far off, off wasn’t an option anymore.  Nothing could make the bodies in there blink away for a few moments; here was a family that just wanted to “go out” together.

Now back to Rick’s post under the bed, these faceless invaders are ruthless with each other.  They seem to have no problem killing off their own if it means another can of food or a comfy bed to sleep on.  Rick can only helplessly listen as two men argue over the bed he is pinned under.  When the argument becomes physical he can only hope no one falls to the ground and he is practically holding his breath as the battle rages on.  Thankfully even though he is seen his observer is quickly subdued by a choke hold and that puts the kibosh on any tattling… for now.

Back in the military vehicle, Glenn has been roused from sleep to find his “new friends” have driven him miles and miles from where he wanted to be and demands to be set free.  This is not what Abraham has in mind, nor is he going to just let Glenn get out.  He explains that he is a soldier and that he intends to keep the twosome on his mission.  Glenn has no real interest until Ford introduces Eugene (with a sweet mullet) who is a scientist that knows what happened to cause the walker.  Personally, I think its crap.  I mean really, if you knew anything wouldn’t you say something?

Apparently Glenn isn’t stunned with his response either because he announces that even though Eugene could possibly shed some light on everything and fix the world, Maggie is way more important.  I’m going with maybe, just maybe he knows it’s crap too… just a thought.  Abraham is apparently not used to no and decides that out in the open, totally exposed is a great place to lay a smack down on the ex-pizza delivery guy…  What is attracted to screams and trashy noises?  Oh yeah, walkers.  Not just any walkers guys, these here be corn field zombies.  Yet as undead Jethro looms in the distance, Abraham is not ready to give up his unjustified beat down.  With a tribe of walkers closing in it is up to Eugene to completely fuck up the mission by unloading a hail of bullets into the car and surrounding zombies.  A maneuver he accredits to “a fully amped up state and an ignorance of rapid firing weapons”   in other words being a gun touting asshole.  Still he can see that Glenn know what he is doing and Eugene directs Abraham to go with them claiming Abraham has to trust Eugene because he is “smarter.”  I am really getting the feeling this guy is full of it!

Back at the house Rick is read to make a break for it from under his creaking prison of bed frame.  And with all the stealth of a lame mongoose he sinks into an occupied bathroom.  Now I’m sure when he decided he needed to take a crap, that Rick was the last thing he expected, but with the vicious gang finding Michonne’s clothing he has no choice but to put him down.  I would like to now point out, there was someone calling dibs on Michonne.  At first I was disgusted but then I started to think about it, I’m pretty sure she would kill you, dead, with like a stick or something.  Either way Rick has decided that he’s getting out of the house via bathroom window like a 15 year old girl on a school night.  Now naturally to ramp up more tension the leader of the bandits has to come outside as Rick hides next to the porch and contemplates how he is going to get out of there when he see his “family” coming up the road.  Thankfully, someone in the house freaks out and starts shooting giving them all a clear shot at getting away.  Somehow it all ends up on the tracks again and the trio decides to follow them to the “safe place.”

Abraham, still on the trail, begins trying to appeal to “Billy Badass” to get Glenn to turn around.  This is obviously not working and she basically tells him, look you are a liar.  She points out that he isn’t in it to save the world.  That the world cannot be saved, but at least she isn’t a liar.

Honestly I now more interested in mullet man’s true intentions because, I don’t think he really knows anything at all and that’s the truth.  Thanks walking dead, you dangle a mediocre plot line out there and now I have to see what the hell happens…   

      

Beyond a shadow...

Well it’s time to go back to everyone’s favorite monster makeup competition, okay the only monster makeup completion on TV at this point, SYFI’s Face Off.  As we slowly weed through this season’s hopefuls I have to say right now that the major talents, at least to me have been Tyler and Rashad.  Sadly, Rashad always seems to be a bridesmaid when it comes to top looks.  This is a double edged sword when it comes to these kinds of competitions, of course you always want the win but, being in top looks at least guarantees you exposure in a good way in front of the judges.

This week we bring in a different guest judge, Oren Peli, the mastermind behind Paranormal Phenomena, to introduce this week’s spotlight challenge.   The challengers come into a room of shadows; literally, there are shadow silhouettes of various creatures on the wall.  The contestants must choose a shadow and make a supernatural creature that casts it.  I have to say, at first I was laughing at how simple this seemed.  Your shape is given to you, all you have to do is build it, right?  Wrong!  Think about it realistically, not only do you have to come up with a creature, you have to conform it to someone else’s prefabricated idea.

Each artist rushes off to sculpt away the rest of the afternoon before the preview.  Everyone seems to be coming along except poor Tanner who cannot seem to grasp scary in his “cute” and “small animalish” nose.  Don’t worry Tanner, your bad luck soon finds a mate in Corrine who had a mold disaster.  Despite all of her efforts, she can’t get the cowl out of the mold.  Frustration mounts as she pounds away but the only thing that results is a broken piece that she discards for a wig and a set of prefabbed ears.

Niko, who is working on what appears to be a bull inspired creature is once again running behind and turns to girlfriend Cat and Tyler to help him out of his timing situation.  A decision that Cat is really going to regret as it cost her time on her mantis styled creation.  Tanner, poor Tanner, has run into yet another problem as he attempts to create horns from red solo cups… While at first I thought “brilliant!”  My next thought was “holy smokes that’s going to weigh a ton!”

On the day of reveal we now see that helping Niko has cost Cat everything but the head of her creature.  Paint is flying every which was as both Cat and Tanner realize they have nothing for the body of their creations.  What do you do? Well you either paint the face with spots of obnoxious yellow (Cat) or you cover him in plastic wrap and pray that it works (Tanner).  Thru all the odds and ends of last looks we get a few fleeting glances, and to tell you the truth none of it looked promising.  Here’s what we got:

Cat: Let’s start with cat and the yellow spots.  She created a mantis creature with no claws.  I would think you needed those but, who am I to judge.  What comes out looks like one of two things, either a man in a mask or a weird pincher faced alien.  The lines in the face are hard and angular and the lines seem to just out with the mass of black paint she used.  The stand out, and not in a good way, is her use of a toxic yellow looking paint that feels spattered as a last ditch effort.

Chloe:  This is supposed to be some sort of cow demon thing, I think.  What she presents is another overly draped creation that looks like one of those cow skull ornaments that people hang when they are trying to go for a south western theme.  I’m really starting to get tired of Chloe using lots of fabric to decrease the effort needed for finer details in a body.

Corinne:   This girls needs to fall on her knees and thank god that she knows how to blend paint.  Even with a cowl mold that was a no go, and using prefabbed ears, what she presented was a goblin clear out of Grimm’s faire tales.

Darren:  Okay, you won’t see thin in the attached gallery, but the only thing that could sum up this creature is “dirty homeless dude with a huge vagina on his back.”  I cannot even begin to dissect this idea.  It’s supposed to be a hunchback that swallows your soul with a mouth on its back, or something… I don’t even care.

George:   George needs to be given a lesson on a color wheel, There are far more colors available than differing shades of red man.  What he has put forth this week looks like a skeleton that is draped in Kool-aide and bubble gum.  Not the worst, but by far not the best thing seen on the run way.

Graham:  This cockroach inspired creature should have took Top look.  You want to feel sick look it up in the gallery.  From the moment it went out, all I could do is writhe in my seat and feel sick to my stomach.  The neck piece is what sells it, I looks like he glued maggots down her throat, and ugh, it gave me a serious case of the hibby jibbies.

Matt: See silent hill… uninspired… next…    

Niko:  This was a large makeup and I give him full credits for that, the face was bullish and the horns were of a decent shape.  However, this bull monster’s face seemed a bit lopsided.  I didn’t fully read it as bull at first.  I read fuzzy, miss shaped, bug, animal thing.  The judges remarked that they were scared of it, really Graham turns your guts out but the fuzzy, bull bug scares you more?

Rashad:  Rashad’s demon character was a brilliant choice and I loved that her horns were so well done.  They really brought something to the creature, but the more I look the more I saw Pan’s Labyrinth and, although she was beautiful, I couldn’t say it was original.

Tanner:  I feel so bad for this guy.  It was heart breaking to watch everything he tried, it all just fell apart.  First the face, it was too teddy bear cute.  The nose was sunken in like my adorable frenchie puppy.  I just wanted to snuggle with it.  The next hiccup was the horns; they were just as I had originally thought, too heavy.  The weight seemed to break the head of the beast leaving nothing in their wake but, disappointment.  Finally, the plastic wrap… the character was literally falling apart as it walked down the run way.  There was no saving this travesty.

Tyler:  Oh my god, how this didn’t end up in top looks just blows my mind.  The details of the creature blew me away.  The vac sealed bubbles on the back contained insects and slime; the little legs sprouting from the well painted mouth piece.  It was all so brilliant.

The top looks were a collection of Corrine, Niko and Graham.  Each one had some very strong elements however, when they announced that Niko would be given the win, I can only say I was strongly against it.  Out of the three I would have gone with Graham’s gut wrenching monster.

The bottom contained Darren, Tanner and Cat.  No shock poor little Tanner was sent packing.  Slowly I’m starting to realize this season is total hit and miss.


Monster Gallery

Ninja Please...

We open on our guys in a desperate situation of no work and bills piling up, like that’s anything new for Shawn and Gus.  So what do you think they spend their free time doing?  That’s right, coming up with ridiculous crimes to solve that haven’t really happened.  Between Shawn and Gus, they come up with plots based around puppets, competitive eating, and suggestive hot dogs… all around it ends in the phrase “Ninja please…”  Thanks for that Gus.

Meanwhile in the coroner’s office of beautiful, murderous Santa Barbara Woody works away at his latest “patient.”  In comes an imposing figure with a creepy Cajun accent and he attempts to roll out a body.  Woody explains that due to the body being a John Doe, he cannot allow the man to take it and then we get a gun.  Our dopey coroner is taken hostage by Cyrus, an ex con who was trying to make a life for himself.  It turns out the body is a murder victim “Wilson” who he had beef with in jail and Cyrus believes he is being set up.  Woody is quick to try to help Cyrus and begins an honest dialogue.

The precinct is swamped as Chief Trout rallies the officers for a standoff when Shawn and Gus arrive.  As true to his character Trout dismisses the two and assigns Lassie to a ridiculous detail far from the scene.  Trout is blowing the situation out of control as he readies for a hail of bullets, he intends to shot first, and you thought Han was bad.

With the dynamic dunderheads locked out of the police department we see the return of the half beard scheme.  I’m so disappointed in these two I expected way more by this season.  However it did get them into a holding cell which is a good start, at least they are inside right?

Woody talks Cyrus into asking for Shawn and Gus explaining they are not cops so he can trust them.  Of course he also talks him into asking for American cheese and seedless grapes so we know where his head is.  Cyrus explains to the creators of psych that he crossed paths with the deceased in a halfway house but, he didn’t kill him at all.  He explains he has a wife that loves him and doesn’t want to be railroaded back to jail.

Cyrus’s P.O. and wife arrive in the station and Trout makes it clear he is trigger happy and more than willing to shoot to kill.  Trout decides to let Woody have his pills delivered by Lassie, inside the bottles is a tiny camera and now it’s very real to Juliet that if she doesn’t slow Trout down they might lose Woody in the crossfire.  Seriously? How has Trout not been jailed before now?!

Shawn and Gus arrive at the halfway house under the guise of a Vato and his P.O., every one welcome Emilio Estevez Estavieez… Or Shawn in a bandana and grey plaid bottom up with only the collar button done.  They are let in and given a rundown of the facility by Rocko explaining the Maurice runs the house but he’s not in right now.  Leaving Shawn and Gus alone in the deceased room they find pictures of him and Cyrus’s wife.  Uh-oh.

Confronted with the evidence of the affair she cops to it and explains she had broken it off because he was hanging out with bad people (Like adulterers?).  Still the two decide that they need to go back to the half-way house to confront the man in charge, Maurice… Unfortunately, he’s not too talkative on account that he is deceased as well.  Bum bum bum…  In his room they find a lottery ticket which proves Maurice was looking the other way on letting Wilson break the house rules about going more than 10 miles away and later than 9pm.  

To slow down Trout Juliet decides to go in as Woody’s estranged daughter in an attempt to talk Cyrus into letting Woody go.  This ends in a disturbing “the birds and the bees” talk between the two that makes even me uncomfortable.  Woody convinces Cyrus to let him and Juliet autopsy the body to prove that he is innocent due to a large amount of sulfuric acid in the body’s wounds proving that Wilson was not killed in Cyrus’s home thus clearing him of circumstance evidence.  Meanwhile Trout moves in quickly forcing Juliet to place herself between Cyrus and Trout.

The acid leads Gus and Shawn to a fertilizer plant and ultimately the scene of the first murder.  It is here where Shawn using his acute sense of observation pulls it together and calls it into Lassie.  It was the P.O. who caught Wilson sneaking around and making money on his old life (what that was I’m not entirely sure) and demanded a cut, then in turn bribed Maurice to look the other way on the rules.  When Wilson tried to go straight the P.O. was already in too deep and so he killed the two coconspirators to keep the whole “stinking” thing quiet.  Now after all of that you’d assume they would get a hero’s accommodation right?  Oh no, they all get fired… Well kinda fired, Shawn and Gus were never really hired so it’s hard to fire them.  There is justice in Santa Barbra however when Trout in turn is fired for nearly killing Woody… so there’s that.

I cannot express my disappointment at this season enough.  Where did my fun cast of eccentrics go?  The first episode of the season was awesome, now it just feels like forced pseudo wit.  Come back to me psych!  I miss you!  Most of this show has turned into a grandiose idea of how to bend logic.  Hopefully we get chief Vick back and we can go back to our brave Shawn and Fashionably astute Gus solving crimes by placing a finger to their heads and bantering 80’s lyrics.   

The end of an era

We return to New Orleans to finish up what I have come to truly love, American Horror Story: Coven.   I can say with all the sadness of my heart, I just never wanted this show to end.  True when it opened, with a gang bang I was tempted to give up on it, however with last night’s series finale I’ll miss my wed night haunt.

 

We open with Stevie Knicks singing about the “seven wonders,” looking great in her top hat and dress I might add.  A lot of the fans I’ve talked to dislike Stevie’s appearances on the show however, I love her addition and the fact that she can get a small nod.  If you know anything about her career, there has constantly been talk of witchcraft in her background, so who better than the biggest witch in the music industry?

The four challengers for the supremacy are Madison, Queeney, Zoey and Misty.  The four file in decked out in their best black outfits, I will say wardrobe is a bit cliché. 

 

First challenge: Telekinesis

 

All four girls exhibit a grasp of these powers, Madison especially since it has always been the base of her appearance in the coven.  Misty seems to be the weakest witch struggling to bring forward a candle stick.  This does not bode well for our poor Miss Day.

 

Second challenge: Mind control

 

So the only part of this challenge that was worth recapping is Madison and Zoey’s fight.  Kyle becomes a pawn between the two “twitches” as Madison forces him to kiss her sending Zoey into a rage.  Madison eats it up making Kyle drop to his knees to lick her shoes.  So there he is tongue extended when Zoey breaks Madison’s “hold” and brings him to her kissing him passionately.  Madison is not the girl to lose, and makes Kyle nearly choke Zoey.

 

Third challenge: Transcending the plains

 

After Cordelia breaks up the fight by making Kyle fly across the room, ouch, it’s time to go to hell.  No really the third challenge is moving your spiritual being to a realm of hell… Why you would want to is redonkulous but, never the less here we go right?  Wrong!  If you do not make it back to your body by morning… you stay in hell.  Screw that!

 

However that is exactly what happens to poor Misty.  She becomes trapped in an endless bio lab where she must kill an innocent frog over and over again for an eternity.  For a sensitive soul like misty, this is an eternity of suffering beyond limit.  Truly, if there were a hell for her beauty, this is it.

 

Fourth challenge: Transmutation

 

After showing no remorse for the loss of Misty the girls use this power to play tag.  That’s right, our friend just disintegrated to hell for an eternity… let’s play a school yard game!  This is all fun and games till Zoey ends up mutilated on top of a spiked gate.

 

Madison, obviously not sorry for the loss at all, is called upon to help bring her back.  Unless it means the supremacy, Madison isn’t interested and states that unless they make her supreme right now, Zoey can remain worm food.  In response Cordelia resolves to challenge for the supremacy. 

 

Fifth Challenge: Pyro-mancy

This power has run rampant through the whole series and is kind of rushed through as if they wanted to count 1,2,3,4,6,7… Needless to say the competitors pay it as little attention as the audience.

 

Sixth Challenge: Divinations

 

We should really just title this one “Madison’s fail.”  The challenge is to read the location of a hidden item in the house using pebbles.  This is easy for Cordelia who finds her broach quickly, leaving Madison to believe it’s easy.  This is when she falls on her face.  No matter how hard she tries she cannot read it and leaves the room to pack and sulk threatening to oust the coven. 

 

Seventh Challenge: Raising the dead

 

So now we move to bring back Zoey!  Okay we all knew she couldn’t be gone forever right?  While Cordelia brings her back Kyle moves in on his own plan.  Like the devoted dog, Kyle enters in on Madison packing.  In his grief he starts to ruff her up until finally he goes in for the kill.  As Madison expires, Zoey rockets to life and Cordelia is thrown as the powers of the supreme enter her body.  After obtaining the powers of the supreme Cordelia’s eyes are restored to her and she is glowing with her new found radiance.

 

Now on the cusp of her reign Cordelia speaks out introducing the world to the coven and inviting other witches to join them, offering them sanctuary in New Orleans.  As they ready the school for an influx of new blood, the old blood must be washed away.  Mertile Snow must be judged and burned for the murder of two witches earlier in the show and a council is created out of Queeny and Zoey… The loss of Mertile, I can’t say I agree because you would need that third voice but also, this is the only source of a mother’s compassion Cordelia has ever known. 

 

From the ashes of Mertile rises promise that the dark time shall be lifted from the coven.  Enter in Fiona, or a skeleton version of the fashionable, ex-supreme.  She explains how she faked her death and planned to kill the next supreme but, in a tender yet still volatile and hurtful moment she explains how Cordelia was a walking reminder of her mortality.  That every time she saw her daughter the only thing she could truly see was her own death.  As she rests in Cordelia’s arms, Cordelia tells her that this is a road that she must travel, and she must let go.  Let go she does, straight to hell, a farm house in the swamp with the axe man… quaint and yet justice.

With the death of Fiona we welcome a new era to the coven… Good Luck Ladies!