This week on ink master, my blood boiled all over my living
room. This recap is unfortunately going
to read more like a rant than an overall retelling of what happened because to
get everything in I’d have to write four separate posts and a recap. No thank you.
So, we rejoin the remaining five artists for a flash
challenge that will put to be the idea that Scott cannot draw. The artists were asked to draw the iconic,
statue of liberty and then to tattoo the statue using only the drawing as
reference. Seems simple enough, except
for while you are drawing the statue, you are on a boat which is moving quickly
and rocking to the point where Halo becomes ill. My mother sympathizes Halo. During the reveal of the tattoos from the
flash challenge is where my first beef with this episode came to a head. Scott left out a spike, that’s pretty big
when you are doing one of the most recognized figures in the world wouldn’t you
say? Well the judges did point it out
but were quick to brush it off and really ooohhh and awe over the pedestal in
the design. Then they turn around and nail
the other artists for even lesser mistakes.
All of this is of course voiced over by Scott Marshal throwing a bigger
temper tantrum than my three year old in a toy store. Seriously man, what happened? Someone take your cookie at snack time?
Thankfully, the judges give the win to Halo, who I believe
deserved it, and that gave me some hope that maybe they weren’t all rallied
around Scott. My blood however, didn’t
get to chill long as Scott appealed to Halo to try to protect him and take out
Melissa. What a coward! You have made everyone, nothing but miserable
with your chump like attitude and now you want Halo to protect you?! Go get your blanket and juice box and sit in
time out you big baby!
This week’s challenge was my least favorite next to American
traditional art, Japanese. I love the
culture of Japan, I just personally do not care for the imagery of Japanese
tattooing. Can I appreciate that it is
tradition and culture? Of course and
therefore you need to really take the time to understand it before attempting
an application, which is why I hate seeing it on ink masters. This week using the principles of Japanese
tattooing the artists must design a snake tattoo. Ugh, the end results were abysmal all around.
Right out of the gate, Sausage had it bad. He was asked to do a cobra, which is not prevalent
in Japanese tattooing in the Japanese style.
This isn’t really going to end well is it? Well in an attempt to show proportions,
Sausage then added a skull that was way too small and left it looking like the
snake itself was abnormally long. What
else was too long? The three mile tongue
he put in… Oh it was really hard to watch.
Poor Melissa’s attempt to hang in there and try her best
with references seemed to fall short of the judges sympathies this week. Personally, I thought it was a solid design
and between hers and Matti, who won the challenge, she was a more comprised
piece. The glaring flaw was the size of
the head according to the judges, which if you look isn’t that far off of Matti’s
which makes me question whether it’s because of the design or that it was a
woman who did it.
Halo turned in an atrocious piece whose border looked like a
tombstone. The snake double backed on
itself and just refused to flow well with the body. Man, like I said everyone was ruff this week.
As I mentioned earlier Matti won, and I am still trying to
figure out how. Personally I didn’t see
anything really spectacular in the design or the approach to the tattoo at
all. It was a decent tattoo, but nothing
really struck you as heart felt or amazing in any way.
Now, what was horrible was Scott’s piece. Not only was it bad, so was his attitude to
the canvas, the very same attitude he critizized Jay for having weeks
prior. He threatened to drag her by her
hair… Who does that?! You freaking Neanderthal! The snake itself was a combination of Japanese
and new school which can be referred to as utter crap. Even the guest judge was offended.
Now the judging is where I lost control and walked around
the house screaming obscenities. Weeks
ago my least favorite judge declared that this competition would go tattoo per
tattoo. A bad week could send you home…
So when it was Scott and Melissa, I would assume that Scott would be packing
because his tattoo was clearly weaker.
No, Scott stayed, siting his body of work. So let me get this straight not only are you
a bitch, but you’re a liar that plays favorites. That’s when it hit me, there has never been a
female ink master, there has never been a female guest judge that I can clearly
remember… I’ll have to double check that one by the way… and Melissa was the
judges pick for bottom… They didn’t kick her because of the piece they kicked
her because she is a girl in a male industry.
Do I think she could have won? No… Do I think she beat Scott’s piece of
shit? Definitely… Do I think the Judges play favorites? Obviously… Will I watch next season?
Doubtful.
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