Fink Master: An Ink Master Recap

So last night we saw what a sham Ink Masters really is with its totally useless and absurd finale.  In the previous year we were treated with to interviews with previous contestants, live tattooing with a purpose and clips of the artists tattooing in their home towns and we got that again, sort of.

This year’s crop of interviews seemed to be very light as they were constantly being cut off and redirected when they arrived at the overall feeling of favoritism that the artists felt the judges were applying to Scott Marshall.  Even the interview with Kyle Dunbar displayed the arrogance of the judges as Nunez danced around the issue and attempted to smooth it over.  In the end he came out looking like an even bigger tool.  Several times the idea of Peck and Nunez’s rule bending to help Scott was brought up only to have Dave swat them away and try to redirect to other lesser drama.  If you have to redirect people from the same ending more than three times, there is something wrong.

There was no tattoo off this year but, last year’s winner was there to tattoo live.  What I didn’t understand wasn’t why he was there but, how someone as talented as Mr. Hamilton is botched that design so badly.  Just goes to prove that maybe the judges don’t know everything because the finished product was jacked.

After all of that nonsense it was time for Dave to ask America to vote for their favorite artist and unveil the finished back pieces.  Right off the back there was a huge similarity between Sausage and Scott.  I mean they might have been asked to tattoo the same kinds of ideas, it was that freaky. 

During the critiques Sausage received great marks for his piece with very tiny nitpicks by Oliver Peck.  He was complemented by his use of space, skin breaks and over all flow of design.  Matti kind of blew this one with a very cluttered design that I felt was not open enough and just kind of faded into nothing.  That is one of the judges pet peeves so right there I knew Matti was out.  It was Scott who received an even harsher critique as his face was described as wonky and incorrectly shaped.  It was a multi colored blah in my opinion.

Sausage ended up winning America’s vote, but in the end that means nothing because the final word is up to the judges.  Keeping in mind everything that was said about his tattoo I braced myself for Sausages victory.  This was not to be; in a shocking turn of events the judges gave the title to Scott proving that it is flat out rigged.  The entire game was set up for Scott and everyone one watching knew it as the crowd hailed down “boos.”  It’s clear that this show isn’t in need of new artists; it’s in need of new judges.   

Snake's in the garden: An Ink Master Review

This week on ink master, my blood boiled all over my living room.  This recap is unfortunately going to read more like a rant than an overall retelling of what happened because to get everything in I’d have to write four separate posts and a recap.  No thank you.

So, we rejoin the remaining five artists for a flash challenge that will put to be the idea that Scott cannot draw.  The artists were asked to draw the iconic, statue of liberty and then to tattoo the statue using only the drawing as reference.  Seems simple enough, except for while you are drawing the statue, you are on a boat which is moving quickly and rocking to the point where Halo becomes ill.  My mother sympathizes Halo.  During the reveal of the tattoos from the flash challenge is where my first beef with this episode came to a head.  Scott left out a spike, that’s pretty big when you are doing one of the most recognized figures in the world wouldn’t you say?  Well the judges did point it out but were quick to brush it off and really ooohhh and awe over the pedestal in the design.  Then they turn around and nail the other artists for even lesser mistakes.  All of this is of course voiced over by Scott Marshal throwing a bigger temper tantrum than my three year old in a toy store.  Seriously man, what happened?  Someone take your cookie at snack time?

Thankfully, the judges give the win to Halo, who I believe deserved it, and that gave me some hope that maybe they weren’t all rallied around Scott.  My blood however, didn’t get to chill long as Scott appealed to Halo to try to protect him and take out Melissa.  What a coward!  You have made everyone, nothing but miserable with your chump like attitude and now you want Halo to protect you?!  Go get your blanket and juice box and sit in time out you big baby!

This week’s challenge was my least favorite next to American traditional art, Japanese.  I love the culture of Japan, I just personally do not care for the imagery of Japanese tattooing.  Can I appreciate that it is tradition and culture?  Of course and therefore you need to really take the time to understand it before attempting an application, which is why I hate seeing it on ink masters.  This week using the principles of Japanese tattooing the artists must design a snake tattoo.  Ugh, the end results were abysmal all around.

Right out of the gate, Sausage had it bad.  He was asked to do a cobra, which is not prevalent in Japanese tattooing in the Japanese style.  This isn’t really going to end well is it?  Well in an attempt to show proportions, Sausage then added a skull that was way too small and left it looking like the snake itself was abnormally long.  What else was too long?  The three mile tongue he put in… Oh it was really hard to watch.

Poor Melissa’s attempt to hang in there and try her best with references seemed to fall short of the judges sympathies this week.  Personally, I thought it was a solid design and between hers and Matti, who won the challenge, she was a more comprised piece.  The glaring flaw was the size of the head according to the judges, which if you look isn’t that far off of Matti’s which makes me question whether it’s because of the design or that it was a woman who did it.

Halo turned in an atrocious piece whose border looked like a tombstone.  The snake double backed on itself and just refused to flow well with the body.  Man, like I said everyone was ruff this week.

As I mentioned earlier Matti won, and I am still trying to figure out how.  Personally I didn’t see anything really spectacular in the design or the approach to the tattoo at all.  It was a decent tattoo, but nothing really struck you as heart felt or amazing in any way.

Now, what was horrible was Scott’s piece.  Not only was it bad, so was his attitude to the canvas, the very same attitude he critizized Jay for having weeks prior.  He threatened to drag her by her hair… Who does that?!  You freaking Neanderthal!  The snake itself was a combination of Japanese and new school which can be referred to as utter crap.  Even the guest judge was offended.

Now the judging is where I lost control and walked around the house screaming obscenities.  Weeks ago my least favorite judge declared that this competition would go tattoo per tattoo.  A bad week could send you home… So when it was Scott and Melissa, I would assume that Scott would be packing because his tattoo was clearly weaker.  No, Scott stayed, siting his body of work.  So let me get this straight not only are you a bitch, but you’re a liar that plays favorites.  That’s when it hit me, there has never been a female ink master, there has never been a female guest judge that I can clearly remember… I’ll have to double check that one by the way… and Melissa was the judges pick for bottom… They didn’t kick her because of the piece they kicked her because she is a girl in a male industry.  Do I think she could have won? No… Do I think she beat Scott’s piece of shit? Definitely… Do I think the Judges play favorites?  Obviously… Will I watch next season? Doubtful.