Nom Box #6!

It’s been a long two weeks since the graze company graced my mail box with its tasty treats in their individual wrapped and measured portions, so imagine my joy when it was waiting for me on Monday morning.  This week had a warm kind of feel to the pallet and I was delighted by the wonderful flavors of most of the selections, but with all boxes there were hits and misses, and this box had a major miss.

First the great!  The chocolate orange flapjacks, I’m such a fan of the flapjack line that these never disappoint.  There is something about the soft, crumbly, and moist texture of these delicious bars that just makes me happy.  The way they punched up the orange flavor really spoke to my insane love of citrus, but what really worked for me was the warm and comforting way the dark chocolate ribbons danced back and forth creating a truly sweet and yet slightly bitter explosion.  Please send more!

The next treat was the toffee apples, now with 70 cals I was super excited to dig right in.  By now I’ve learned not look forward to the possibility of a crunchy texture and this was no exception.  I think that they fear that drying out the apples all the way might do something to the sugar intake or something.  The chewy fruit is growing on me though, but not nearly as much as the toffee dip.  This dip was sweet but so luscious and melted so easily on the tongue that it was a little cube of heaven.

As for the black pepper pistachios, well I appreciate the pistachios.  As for the black pepper taste, I flat out couldn’t find it at all.  The only difference was a slightly warming bite at the very end of the cube of pistachios.  Call this one a take it or leave it.

Now we get to the miss, the “Bonnie wee oat bakes.”  These were tiny, hard, little oat triangles that were fundamentally tasteless and so dry that they sucked the moisture right out of my mouth with the first nibble.  As for the caramelized onion marmalade, I could not get past the sweet and yet pungent stink that assaulted my nose.  No thank you!  Just No!

Snake's in the garden: An Ink Master Review

This week on ink master, my blood boiled all over my living room.  This recap is unfortunately going to read more like a rant than an overall retelling of what happened because to get everything in I’d have to write four separate posts and a recap.  No thank you.

So, we rejoin the remaining five artists for a flash challenge that will put to be the idea that Scott cannot draw.  The artists were asked to draw the iconic, statue of liberty and then to tattoo the statue using only the drawing as reference.  Seems simple enough, except for while you are drawing the statue, you are on a boat which is moving quickly and rocking to the point where Halo becomes ill.  My mother sympathizes Halo.  During the reveal of the tattoos from the flash challenge is where my first beef with this episode came to a head.  Scott left out a spike, that’s pretty big when you are doing one of the most recognized figures in the world wouldn’t you say?  Well the judges did point it out but were quick to brush it off and really ooohhh and awe over the pedestal in the design.  Then they turn around and nail the other artists for even lesser mistakes.  All of this is of course voiced over by Scott Marshal throwing a bigger temper tantrum than my three year old in a toy store.  Seriously man, what happened?  Someone take your cookie at snack time?

Thankfully, the judges give the win to Halo, who I believe deserved it, and that gave me some hope that maybe they weren’t all rallied around Scott.  My blood however, didn’t get to chill long as Scott appealed to Halo to try to protect him and take out Melissa.  What a coward!  You have made everyone, nothing but miserable with your chump like attitude and now you want Halo to protect you?!  Go get your blanket and juice box and sit in time out you big baby!

This week’s challenge was my least favorite next to American traditional art, Japanese.  I love the culture of Japan, I just personally do not care for the imagery of Japanese tattooing.  Can I appreciate that it is tradition and culture?  Of course and therefore you need to really take the time to understand it before attempting an application, which is why I hate seeing it on ink masters.  This week using the principles of Japanese tattooing the artists must design a snake tattoo.  Ugh, the end results were abysmal all around.

Right out of the gate, Sausage had it bad.  He was asked to do a cobra, which is not prevalent in Japanese tattooing in the Japanese style.  This isn’t really going to end well is it?  Well in an attempt to show proportions, Sausage then added a skull that was way too small and left it looking like the snake itself was abnormally long.  What else was too long?  The three mile tongue he put in… Oh it was really hard to watch.

Poor Melissa’s attempt to hang in there and try her best with references seemed to fall short of the judges sympathies this week.  Personally, I thought it was a solid design and between hers and Matti, who won the challenge, she was a more comprised piece.  The glaring flaw was the size of the head according to the judges, which if you look isn’t that far off of Matti’s which makes me question whether it’s because of the design or that it was a woman who did it.

Halo turned in an atrocious piece whose border looked like a tombstone.  The snake double backed on itself and just refused to flow well with the body.  Man, like I said everyone was ruff this week.

As I mentioned earlier Matti won, and I am still trying to figure out how.  Personally I didn’t see anything really spectacular in the design or the approach to the tattoo at all.  It was a decent tattoo, but nothing really struck you as heart felt or amazing in any way.

Now, what was horrible was Scott’s piece.  Not only was it bad, so was his attitude to the canvas, the very same attitude he critizized Jay for having weeks prior.  He threatened to drag her by her hair… Who does that?!  You freaking Neanderthal!  The snake itself was a combination of Japanese and new school which can be referred to as utter crap.  Even the guest judge was offended.

Now the judging is where I lost control and walked around the house screaming obscenities.  Weeks ago my least favorite judge declared that this competition would go tattoo per tattoo.  A bad week could send you home… So when it was Scott and Melissa, I would assume that Scott would be packing because his tattoo was clearly weaker.  No, Scott stayed, siting his body of work.  So let me get this straight not only are you a bitch, but you’re a liar that plays favorites.  That’s when it hit me, there has never been a female ink master, there has never been a female guest judge that I can clearly remember… I’ll have to double check that one by the way… and Melissa was the judges pick for bottom… They didn’t kick her because of the piece they kicked her because she is a girl in a male industry.  Do I think she could have won? No… Do I think she beat Scott’s piece of shit? Definitely… Do I think the Judges play favorites?  Obviously… Will I watch next season? Doubtful. 

From another planet: A Jim Henson Creature Shop Challenge Recap

This week in the creature shop we join our top four creators, who are both excited and stressed with a spot in the top, and final three hanging in the balance.  Everyone is taking it to heart, and in very different ways.  The most notable reaction to the position is Ben.  Now, I like Ben and believe he is insanely talented; however he has a real problem with failure and critique.  You need to be okay with both in the arts.  In the first half of the episode all he wants to do is sulk about his bottom finishing “boldermunch” and it’s hard to feel bad for him because in the last episode’s first half he was sulking about Melissa’s win.  All in all, I think he listened closely to the idea of “If you aren’t first you’re last.”

This week’s challenge was a multiphase piece that required the designers to first create an alien and then an outer housing that works as a disguise for the alien.  So basically, an alien within an alien, in three days, no problem, oh and they must be mechanized and be able to reveal on camera.  I swear, when they said they were going to make them work for it, they were not kidding, especially when you have people like Melissa, who had no previous experience with a mech before now creating blinks and shifts.  I’m so beyond proud of her.

The person completely struggling in the shop this week was Jake, and this really was too bad because I like Jake and his want to be more cerebral in his approach.  His problem lies in his execution, and I think it comes from having a finished product and then trying to work back a story instead of designing the backstory and building off of that.  This week’s alien was no exception.  First the shell’s face was way too small for the opening, and although the judges didn’t say anything about it, I caught glimpses of the alien inside before the reveal.  Now, not to say that it was a bad piece, the mouth and eyes were quite lovely actually.  He used a kind of flat black on the eyes which really sold the other worldly appeal and the pallet on the inside really helped with the character, however it read as too much time on small nuances and not enough on the picture as a whole.

Robert’s alien was by far my favorite this week.  I really think that he brought the challenge home with the amount of finishing that was put into both phases of the character.  The outside of the alien looked in no way human, and really that’s what I want sometimes, I don’t want to feel like all life is shaped like it is on our planet.  But, when the head opened, if you are familiar at all with Farscape… The alien was a tug on the heart strings!  It really was its own little personality that gave you a sense that there was attitude and life.  The accessories alone made me smile, as he just won me over completely.

Melissa’s adorable creation came with the plus of a well hidden head.  I love her fabrication techniques and her ability to craft a well thought out plan in fabrics and raw materials.  Also, her paints are stunning.  Still there were a few issues and those really hurt her in the strong turn out this week.  The biggest, was that her alien seemed to have a floating head in such a wide opening.  It really would have benefited from some kind of shoulder or perhaps a narrower opening.

As for Ben, the real whinner of the week, I really didn’t like his design until it came closer and I got a second look at the show.  Sometimes you just have to watch it again to really appreciate the work that someone has put into a creature piece.  The color is what put me off the most I thiunk, it read so dark and yet just dingy and gross, and not in a good way.  Still, his sculpt in the articulated mouth and the paint job on the eyes actually made this a top contender and in the end his fully puppet-ed mouth assured him another victory.

Sadly, this is a week I hate because you have to say good bye to someone talented and this week we say toodles to Jake.  While I think he has a prosperous future in the industry, I do believe that the right decisions were made and am happy about the top three.  I can’t wait for the finale next week, Go Melissa!       

Oops I love you: A Drop Dead Diva Recap

Looks like the drama at Harrison and Parker is wrapping up itself in a neat little package to send it off in 6 or so episodes as this little gem puts even more emphasis on family and living in the moment.  I understand these have always been themes of the show, but the producers have decided to really beat the audience over the head with them in the last few check in’s with our favorite law lady, Jane.

This week we come back to our lovers (Jane and Grayson) in sunny afterglow, when Jane totally ruins the moment with the blurt of “I love you.”  Yeah, that’s a bit fast there Janey.  Still, can you blame her?  I mean Grayson has always been her one and with a lifetime of past between them, you would almost expect an I love you or two.  Grayson’s response is more logical, if not comical… “What?”  This of course is going to spiral into a day or two of self-doubt and misunderstandings, and just when you thought they were stepping off with the same foot.

The cases this week are total passion cases kicking off with a girl desperate for a bone marrow transplant, and a terminally Ill mayor who wants to rent out City Hall to a high school to house kids while their school is rebuilt.  Why the creators are so content on knocking into family is killing me, can’t we go back to big time scandals?!  I mean wouldn’t it go the other way, small cases leading to serious ones?  Oh well, I’ll continue to watch as they continuously take cheap shots at my heartstrings with pleas for humanity!

The other big problem I have with this show is the alarming rate of children who file for emancipation.  I mean, they are quick to jump to that over at H&P, it almost feels like their magic solution.  In all actuality, not only is it a long arduous process, it very seldom works.  Let alone works how the children seeking emancipation want.  I mean have a look at the requirements, they are pretty insane, I know adults that couldn’t qualify…

Also, Terri is out of prison this week and Kim is ready to cut her loose, not at all surprised with that one, what with Kim’s compassionate nature and all.  You would think that motherhood would have made her a touch more understanding of the suffering of others.  Oh wait, this is Kim we are talking about, if anything the baby is only making her bitchier.  In need of a time out she would turn to anyone, and in this instance any one is Stacy, for babysitting.  With the twins on the way she needs as much help as she can get.

As tragic as the cases are, they faded into the background as my focus was drawn to the strange happenings in the lives of our favorite lawyers.  In the end it just seems like this episode worked out way too well.  I think this is supposed to be a calm before the storm.  Terri gets to keep her job and tour her music for a month, Owen convinces Stacy to give him a real chance and finally Grayson says “I love you too…”

So why am I uneasy?  Well, there has always been something keeping the lovers apart.  So why now is it suddenly okay?  If you ask me there is most likely some kind of danger looming in the distance, why else would they keep on past a seemingly happy ending?

Turning back time: A Once Upon A Time Recap

I was wrong, this week was not the finale of Once Upon A Time as I had previously mentioned, and kind of started to hope for, however it was the end of the boredom I had been feeling with this series.  The main problem has been that the writer’s attempts at being mysterious left even the viewer’s outside the loop, which for the most part slacked on the tension.  Perhaps, if they had clued us in more, we as an audience would have had a better experience, being able to see but unable to help our dynamic cast.  The other problem stems from this bizarre idea to try to pack a ton of story into one episode instead of pacing it out.  Yes, I loved that they brought in Dorothy Gale this week but, by the time they were ready to develop her, she was whisked back to Kansas.  A bit disappointing really…

 

So, what happened this week?  Well… As we all know from last week Snow’s bundle of mini charming is on the way and once again her delivery is going to be anything but easy, especially with a wicked witch trying to steal it.  Thankfully, Snow has the team of Emma and Regina attempting protection spells, although from the last few battles those don’t seem to be enough anymore to stop Zelina.  With this gut wrenching realization, Emma must swallow her serious trust issues with Hook and the two must set out to strike Zelina first at her home.  Not a bad plan, but if I were going to try to defeat a witch through magic, my side kick wouldn’t be cursed with a spell to take my magic.  That’s like pointing a gun backward, isn’t it?  Needless to say Zelina easily manipulates the situation and Hook’s lips end up doing their dirty deed, effective immediately we are out a white witch.

 

Now, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel for Zelina as she storms into the hospital and snatches the new born prince, and we finally find out what the baby represents when we trip into Oz’s past.  Apparently, for a time Zelina had tried to be good and represent the “west” or innocence (now do you see why you’d need a baby).  This was all well and good before the storm that brought Dorothy to Oz, Dorothy an innocent, fresh faced, girl.  Naturally, Zelina’s envy flames are fanned and she decides once more to become the wickedness inside of her.  Too bad really, I had my hopes up… Well not really.  Envy is a truly toxic poison, and once you have it in you there is no stopping it.

 

In true fairy tale fashion, just before it’s too late to stop Zelina, it is Regina who appears to stop her… With the help of everyone else, of course but it’s truly Regina’s moment.  You see, although it has taken half a century and several tragedies to understand, Regina finally realizes that evil is not born, it is made… but so is good.  In the place of Emma, it is Regina who becomes a white witch and in-turn a Hero, only if it is just for the day.  Man if that doesn’t make Zelina’s blood boil nothing will.  Not only did she get everything, but now she also gets to be the hero, with a hunky slice of beef cake to boot… Lovely.

 

So that’s it right?  The evil is vanquished and good shall reign supreme.  We even got a marriage proposal from Rumple to Belle after a touching exchange of trust, oh and the dagger of the dark one… But, is it really over?  Of course not!  Rumple cannot help his weakness, or his lust for vengeance, thus leading him to make the biggest mistake he possibly could.  Why he truly believes that his continued search for revenge will end in some kind of peace is beyond me.  I mean, look at everything that has come from his poor designs, and now he wants to make another passion filled decision?  Yes, I understand that they are trying to set up for season 4, but if I were the people of the enchanted forest I would not let this guy make another deal as long as he lives.    

Must See!: What We Do in the Shadows - Official Trailer

I totally need this in my life!  Oh my god I could not stop laughing and now I am on a personal mission to make sure I see this movie!  You should be too!


So it's looking like a spoof on the whole sexualized image of the Vampire, for example Lestat, which is amazing comedy gold.  I mean when you really sit down with it, how a vampire coven could possibly operate in this day and age is almost impossible and then you add the fact that it has connection to flight of the concords!  God Bless New Zealand!

Fresh and clean: Skin Care review

So for the past month I've added some new products to my cleansing and preping so I thought I'd take the time to let you know what I think...

First up is Olay's Fresh Effects line in "bead me up" and "dew over."  So the bead me up cleanser is a great gentle scrub with gel bead exfoliators.  The sent is pleasent and the after feeling once it's cleaned off it tight and amazing.

The dew over, use sparingly!  Seriously a tiny swipe can leave your face moist and fresh.  I love this stuff...

This was in the dollar bin for a reason!  The Jergens BB Body, quite frankly is a tad lack luster.  It left my arm feeling tacky and my hand feeling dried out... Blegh!