Seeing as it started at 11:45pm, to say I hit the bar a tiny bit harder may be a bit conservative. In my defense I was wearing the beautiful red dress I had purchased earlier that evening, and with brilliantly long loose curls and kiss me red lips, (thanks to the lip tar in vintage) I was on fire. After one Blue Moon in, however the fire was starting to fizzle. Unfortunately, my favorite bar tender had the night off and I was served by his “bitchtender” counterpart who suddenly decided not to spin her head around and puke green stuff all over me. Score. Come to find out she’s now dating and acquaintance of mine which makes me call into question his tastes, but a lid for every pot right?
After beer two, the reindeer games seemed to take off as the patio was graced with two “little girls” who couldn’t have been more than perhaps 23. Not that there is anything wrong with being young, however, being young in orange county seems to come along with being dumb.
Case evidence: Girl one is in ripped up skinny jeans, cute combat boots, and an oversized rock tee and over-stretched thin sweater… she had a slim build, it looked good. Until you got to her head, she was wearing a black knit cap with a knot tied in the back, suddenly my arch nemesis (yes people can have an arch nemesis) blurts out what a few of us where probably thinking: “You look like you are wearing a used condom on your head…” Now as a grown woman, I would be offended and possibly decide now is when to continue drinking away from some moron who wants to compare my chosen fashion to a used prophylactic, not her. She takes it with stars in the eyes and starts flirting away. The sad part is that it is that desperate kind of flirting that says, “hey look at me… no really look at me… ask me for my number and buy me beer… look at me…” This continued for another 20 min, with her friend giggling and chiming in every other sentence. All I could do is laugh and ask my guy friend how the hell it works… He told me to wait and watch because it doesn’t.
By the end of the night it was painfully obvious that it didn’t work, however it wasn’t what I expected at all. It was condom head being rejected. I had to have it explained as my nemesis got in the car for our denny’s ritual, the early 20’s droids from planet look at me only work so much. That’s when we saw her and her friend get into a car bleary eyed with the last two guys at the bar.
Next on our trip was quesadillas and coffee at Denny's where my nemesis tried to explain the finer points of bullshit.
After settling the check we both run into... You guessed it condom head and friends. This time she was carrying a boxed salad, this lead us to believe her "date" wasn't ending up in anything but a side hug. After a long goodbye, the night gave way to day.
This is when I wake up with a mildly anoying sore throat and sniffle. Still I promised Disneyland.
Dear happiest place on earth,
Fuck your parking garage procedures! I swear this couldn't get more complicated if I tried to screw it up. You can't load evenly or what?!
Then of course there is the choice of walking to the park or waiting in the first line of the day... The tram... I usually just huff it, makes more sense.
Once inside, well here's some of the fun we had :).
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