So there has been a laps in my coverage of The Walking
Dead, for that I’m sorry but in my defense it hasn’t truly been all that
exciting and I’ve been buried under paperwork.
So picking up where we left off, we roll with the punches.
Speaking of rolling with the punches, I have to say Beth
is taking all of this incredibly well as she narrates an opening with pages of
her diary. Now those hope flooded pages
are kindling as she tromps through the Georgia swamp land with my future
husband, Daryl. Always good to see my “Cajon
washed ex-skin head.” To be honest
though, the pair together makes me uncomfortable. She just looks like a younger version of
Andria and that didn’t end well.
The twosome track the other prison survivors to find that
there have been walkers along the same path and are attacked by a group of flesh
eating monsters. This gives Daryl very
little hope and he makes a very hurtful remark about Hershel’s faith and how it
did little to save him from the Governor.
Even I had to call too soon on that one.
After they come upon what they assume to be the last bodies of the
prison survivors, Beth seems to lose her “faith” all together.
In the true spirit of the series however, AMC takes us
back in time to give us the play by play of what really went down. We find that Judith is alive! Way to go baby ass kicker! She is being cared for by the pair of sisters
that had previously been entrusted to Carol who are now traveling with Tyrese. To say that he is out of his element, well
that is an understatement and with the added stress of a zombie dinner bell I’m
sure right now he is wondering how he got roped into this. The elder sister at this point is most likely
a sociopath, so far she is killing bunnies, making cryptic comments and after
being entrusted with baby Judith as Tyrese rushes in the direction of screams
tries a “mercy killing.” Yeah I don’t
need her number for babysitting, thanks.
Thankfully, baby Judith is saved by Carol who has
apparently been wondering the wilderness of Atlanta. Way to go Carol. With the last breath of a dying man the new
family is given directions to follow the tracks to a new built sanctuary. Hey, what the heck?! Did we learn nothing
from the Woodberry disaster? I mean
honestly? There are no safe places any
more people.
Maggie, Sasha, and the drunken medic seemed to have made
a small little pack. Maggie of course
wants to find Glenn; instead she finds what remains of the bus. A den of walkers. Still she needs to find confirmation so they
agree to let the walkers out of the bus.
Setting up a head shot gauntlet the three begin to take out the passengers
one by one. In the spray of congealed
blood paste and intense knife blows, however she cannot seem to find Glenn
among the brain munchers. The reason she
can’t find her hubby? He’s still at the
prison. Seriously people keep track of
your shit.
That’s right; Glenn has all the luck as he awakes from a
black out safe on a parapet above a gaggle of face eaters. That is one tough pizza delivery man damn
it. Looking out on the colossal cluster-fuck
the prison has become, what does he do? Calls for Maggie. Really?!
Sure she has been fighting through an over run prison just to wait on
you to come around… Sure… Make sure to stop into your old cell and cry
over a picture of her. That is totally
going to help you out.
Some good comes out of Glenn’s exploration; he finds
armor in the riot room and decides he is getting out. Wait didn’t they try this approach when they
needed to clear the prison? Well either
way it gets him through and who do we find sitting in a gated area just staring
into the middle distance? The lesbian
sister of the governor’s last lover, awesome.
Two of the wishiest washy characters in the whole damn show are going to
team up and find the remaining survivors, well if there are any. Mind you, Glenn is still recouping from his
illness, and there is no cure for her lameness so I’m seeing good things aren’t
you? Well that is until the walkers
attack. Glenn passes out from
exhaustion, again… and that leaves Miss Billy Badass to fight them off. Surprisingly, she can handle herself around a
pack of walkers and puts on quiet the display of zombie killing fortitude. You do your thing girl! Now all we need is a new character to really
drive home this episode… oh wait here comes a military vehicle to introduce Sargent
Abraham Ford. Yeah, not amused.
So, after that episode I really had no feeling one way or
the other about any of the characters, everyone seems to be looking for each
other and in the back of their minds already resigned that their loved ones are
dead. If the last part of this season is
going to be everyone chasing their tales looking for everyone else then color
me pissed off and I hope the walkers eat everyone. Yes, I carried that thought inside me for a
week solid and then this little beauty dropped on the screen…
The next week of the walking dead opened with our new
character acting all macho man on a set of three walkers. This guy is most definitely ex-military in
all senses of the word. I do believe
that this man would have definitely been a lifer. So what does “Billy Badass” do? Start making little flirty quips… I thought
she liked a softer touch… okay okay we are out of here.
Let’s check in on the inter-racial post-apocalyptic
version of leave it to beaver. Rick is
still frail from his ordeal and it has fallen on Carl and Michonne to try to
keep all three of them alive. How better
to do that than by having a breakfast moment that includes fashion advice,
revelations about soy milk and a slip about Judith that leads to a quick exit
by Carl. See it’s life as if the walkers
never happened right?! Yeah, I didn’t
think so either.
Well walkers or no there is a ton of tender moments
between Rich and Michonne as they come to an understanding that they will
travel together and try to keep each other going for Carl’s sake. How do you solidify that bond? Take the little psycho on a food round up
trip and leave the gimp at home. Rich’s
only slipped into several comas since leaving the prison and is still weak from
his injuries… what could possibly go wrong?
So now our trio is a duet on a raiding party. We all say how stingy Carl was with pudding,
what is it that Michonne goes after?
Easy cheese! All joking aside
Michonne uses this time to get closer to Carol by telling him about her lost child,
Andre Anthony. This set’s Carl off in a
whirl of questions about who Michonne used to be. And the game of one room, one answer begins.
Back at the house Rick is awaken by the sound of boisterous
intruders who obviously have some very devious plans. Hurray for nefarious marauders! Well sheriff, where do you hide? What do you do? Quickly grab all your shit and dive under the
bed. Congratulations you are officially
a 5 year old girl!
Michonne seems to toy with Carl’s interest until he hits
the nail on the head about how long ago she lost him. Yet another touching moment, before they kick
the door in on the next room. That room
was by far the scariest I have seen on this show. Not because of walkers or gore but because it
obviously belonged to a small child. Its
pink nursery style walls set me so far off, off wasn’t an option anymore. Nothing could make the bodies in there blink
away for a few moments; here was a family that just wanted to “go out”
together.
Now back to Rick’s post under the bed, these faceless
invaders are ruthless with each other.
They seem to have no problem killing off their own if it means another
can of food or a comfy bed to sleep on.
Rick can only helplessly listen as two men argue over the bed he is
pinned under. When the argument becomes
physical he can only hope no one falls to the ground and he is practically
holding his breath as the battle rages on.
Thankfully even though he is seen his observer is quickly subdued by a
choke hold and that puts the kibosh on any tattling… for now.
Back in the military vehicle, Glenn has been roused from
sleep to find his “new friends” have driven him miles and miles from where he
wanted to be and demands to be set free.
This is not what Abraham has in mind, nor is he going to just let Glenn
get out. He explains that he is a
soldier and that he intends to keep the twosome on his mission. Glenn has no real interest until Ford
introduces Eugene (with a sweet mullet) who is a scientist that knows what
happened to cause the walker.
Personally, I think its crap. I
mean really, if you knew anything wouldn’t you say something?
Apparently Glenn isn’t stunned with his response either
because he announces that even though Eugene could possibly shed some light on
everything and fix the world, Maggie is way more important. I’m going with maybe, just maybe he knows it’s
crap too… just a thought. Abraham is
apparently not used to no and decides that out in the open, totally exposed is
a great place to lay a smack down on the ex-pizza delivery guy… What is attracted to screams and trashy
noises? Oh yeah, walkers. Not just any walkers guys, these here be corn
field zombies. Yet as undead Jethro looms
in the distance, Abraham is not ready to give up his unjustified beat
down. With a tribe of walkers closing in
it is up to Eugene to completely fuck up the mission by unloading a hail of
bullets into the car and surrounding zombies.
A maneuver he accredits to “a fully amped up state and an ignorance of rapid
firing weapons” in other words being a
gun touting asshole. Still he can see
that Glenn know what he is doing and Eugene directs Abraham to go with them
claiming Abraham has to trust Eugene because he is “smarter.” I am really getting the feeling this guy is
full of it!
Back at the house Rick is read to make a break for it
from under his creaking prison of bed frame.
And with all the stealth of a lame mongoose he sinks into an occupied
bathroom. Now I’m sure when he decided
he needed to take a crap, that Rick was the last thing he expected, but with
the vicious gang finding Michonne’s clothing he has no choice but to put him
down. I would like to now point out,
there was someone calling dibs on Michonne.
At first I was disgusted but then I started to think about it, I’m
pretty sure she would kill you, dead, with like a stick or something. Either way Rick has decided that he’s getting
out of the house via bathroom window like a 15 year old girl on a school night. Now naturally to ramp up more tension the
leader of the bandits has to come outside as Rick hides next to the porch and contemplates
how he is going to get out of there when he see his “family” coming up the
road. Thankfully, someone in the house
freaks out and starts shooting giving them all a clear shot at getting away. Somehow it all ends up on the tracks again
and the trio decides to follow them to the “safe place.”
Abraham, still on the trail, begins trying to appeal to “Billy
Badass” to get Glenn to turn around.
This is obviously not working and she basically tells him, look you are
a liar. She points out that he isn’t in
it to save the world. That the world cannot
be saved, but at least she isn’t a liar.
Honestly I now more interested in mullet man’s true
intentions because, I don’t think he really knows anything at all and that’s the
truth. Thanks walking dead, you dangle a
mediocre plot line out there and now I have to see what the hell happens…
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