Tears of ink: An Ink Master Review

Welcome back to whine master, I mean Ink Master, seriously this shows got a range of emotion from stressed to downright nervous breakdown… and we are giving these people needles and ink!

This week’s theme is detention and Dave Navaro kicks off the challenge with a flash challenge that is sure to bug you.  The contestants must tattoo a scorpion or tarantula so that it appears to be crawling on the skin.  Here’s the fun part, you must take your own reference photos which will require you to handle the animal.   Suddenly all the bad asses in the room are spineless pussies.  Now before you tell me that it’s a freaking blah blah blah and that they have all rights to be afraid, stop it.  This competition will have so many harder challenges than letting a critter crawl on you.

Melissa takes total control of the situation, letting the tarantula crawl up on her leg as if they were old friends, snaps away for some great reference material.  A stark contrast would be Ashley who is pretty much losing her shit all together.  Get over it!  I’m still trying to decide if she’s challenged or just whinny.

So what is dimension?  Dimension is the use of lights and shadows to make a tattoo look as if it is sitting on the skin.  Essentially, you use darks and shadows to blend out an idea of a 3^rd dimension to your art work.  Crawly critters are especially good for this because you can shade under and around them for optimum effect.

On to the judgment, there are quite a few good starts when you compare them to last week’s abysmal convention challenge.  I was happy to see Halo and Matti nice and strong out of the gate, and was very disappointed in Kyle.  I voted for Kyle so when he turns in small and cluttered pieces that seem amateur I want to cringe.  Now as far as bottom, I have to wonder what Ashley was thinking.  At the end of the challenge Halo is given the win and rightfully so.  I really like Halo’s work and his attitude.

Ashley does not take losing well, and even worse at dealing with being at the bottom.  She begins to breakdown and cry, and blames that on being a woman.  The worst part is that she cries to the other women in the house who respond with a simple, suck it up.  In this industry, i.e. tattooing and body mods, you cannot get emotional.  You are a catalyst for someone else’s self-expression, I’m not an artist and I can understand that.  Oh and I’m also a woman, yes I understand showing emotion, I cry as well however, when you sign up to be critiqued you need to learn to take it.  The harsh reality of this season is that there isn’t any support like there has been in previous houses.  There is however plenty of assholes who are more than happy to rip apart the weak animal in the heard.  Enter Jim, Jim is not taking any of Ashley’s shit and lets her know that no one else is going to either.  Good for you Jim.

Today’s elimination challenge comes with exciting news, there is a new rule!  This season top tattoo of the challenge gets to put someone up for elimination.  So basically, if no one likes you in the house you better hope you get top tattoo or you could be up on the block just because you’re an asshat.  I am in love with this idea, about as much as the canvas jury last season.  Today’s challenge is a realistic eyeball, and here to guest judge is Tommy Montoya.  Tommy, out of L.A., has been seen on NY Ink with Omi James and is known for his photo realism and black and grey designs.

It seems like everyone wants to go in completely different directions on their tattoos, but the one struggling the most is Ashley.  Her canvas, admittedly is giving her more back sass than I’m sure she would like, but it seems as though the hater-aide of the earlier comments have seeped into her brain and she cannot recover.  Her canvas is less than impressed as Ashley fights back being upset and tries to fix her brown into an auburn fade.  Remember Ashley, she isn’t the boss, she may be a client but you know how this is going to work so open your mouth and tell her.

The tattoos complete, I waited for the judging process and was egger to see what would turn out.  Typically what you get in the first 5 weeks or so of this completion is a grimacing look at what I like to call filler contestants crashing and burning.  What’s a filler contestant?  It’s someone they let on the show, maybe not for skill but they play interesting on TV because after all we need to be vested in these people right?  Usually there is someone stressed, someone naive, someone with major issues, someone angry or that has beaten major additions, a know it all rookie your typical stereotypes.  This season seems like a whole cast of them.  Scary I know.  Still when they unveil these eyeballs I cried.  Here are my notes from last night…

Keith:  Someone beat the hell out of that eye.  Ouch town population that guy… I need to stop stealing lines from dodge ball.

Melissa:  It’s got some nice color and detail but, the iris is not proportioned correctly and feels like there’s too much going on in it.  Also the peachy-pink background… Don’t do that shit!

Bubba:  The color of the eye is off putting to me.

Jim:  That blue is really hurting dude.  The iris seems rough and patchy like it’s missing an element of finesse to it.

Halo:  Great show of dimension but, it just felt like there was so much going on.  Also the white dot is kind of throwing me off a little bit.

Randy:  Did you take an engraving set and etch that red atrocity into his skin?!

Ashely:  That white in the waterline isn’t helping the wobbly pupil and murky looking iris.
Scott:  I like it… That’s all…

Kyle:  What the fuck?!  It’s like a toddler drawing me a picture of A Clockwork Orange’s famous “cure” scene.  You’re so much better than this man!

Lydia:  The tear looks off as well as the shape of the iris

Matti:  Would have been top tattoo if it were not for that ugly ass placement of the eyebrow!

Sausage:  Those waves!  Okay officially everyone on this show for the rest of time, unless you can do beautiful waves that don’t look like an arthritic man’s hand… don’t do waves!

David:  Lose the flames and maybe throw some light at the inner lashes

Roland:  That looks like a 5^th graders water color art project.  I understand he wanted his dad’s eye but, what you gave him was sad.

King:  It looks like a cartoon… not much more to say.

Gentle Jay:  Go gentle on those veins brother!

Before she can even get her critique Ashely has a nervous breakdown and decides she quits altogether.  But, not before Kyle explodes at her and tells her to buck up and stop the whinny shit.  The entire room is stunned as he rips her apart in front of the judges.  To be honest I think it’s fair for Kyle to do it; Kyle has run this competition before and knows that this is a cake walk compared to what lies ahead of her.  It’s no big loss as we say good bye to Ashley this week and prepare for the twins challenge next week!