It’s another Wednesday morning her in Orange County and I’m
going to get my recap on of last nights “wha – ster piece” of Spike TV’s Ink
Master. Is it just me or are there some
seriously deep routed cry factors in this house this season. I thought it was because of personalities
like Ashely who removed herself from the game last week, but I see that in her
absence a few more have come to claim the throne of “bitch princess” of the
house. The best thing is it’s not the
girls crying all over everything. In
fact I have to hand it to the ladies left, Melissa and Lydia, are proving that
they may have bigger balls than some of their “Y – Chromosomed” counter parts. So who am I crowning as the “Whine Master”
this week. Well, I’d have to say it’s
got to be Gentle Jay, with dainty Sausage in close second. Jay can’t seem to stop huffing and puffing
about the utterly ridiculous, the problem is that we have yet to see a good
tattoo out of him to be as arrogant as he is.
Remember kids, you are not showing a portfolio, you are doing this live
to prove you can actually produce.
That being said, why don’t I move into the flash
challenge, this week the artists were asked to demonstrate their skills in consistency. In the tattoo world, consistency is a major
factor in a beautiful piece. If your
tattoo doesn’t have that cohesive appeal throughout you can really lose the
shape and meaning of the tattoo itself.
How do you demonstrate true consistency?
Identical twins. This week the groups
were split into teams of three, each team had one designer and two “inkers” who
will tattoo the same design on a set of identical twins. What’s the catch? There is only one set of Identical twins. All of the tattooers must share the body as
they work on their piece. This is insane,
not only for the canvas, but for the artist as well who will now have to deal
with someone possibly pushing or pulling as they are trying to shade or run a
line. On top of an unfavorable canvas
situation, you have to make sure your tattoo is identical to the other artist
who may be fluent in another style or not as heavy or soft handed as you
are. Perhaps one of you shades differently,
or takes a different color pallet, in the end it is up to an executable design
and proper communication on the team.
What comes of the flash challenge is total hit and
miss. Let’s start off with the team of
Matti, David and Randy, who are given an arm and come out swinging with an American
traditional native woman’s face. I’m
going to start by saying I don’t care for American traditional or these “gypsy
girl faces.” I understand that they have
their place in the tattoo world but, I have never been a real fan. That being said, this piece was really nice, the
two could have reasonably been from the same person, the color matched and was
equally bold, all together a nice effort by Matti and David and good design
execution by Randy.
The next team was composed of Jay and Keith who were
asked to tattoo duplicate eagles designed by Lydia who decided to let the boys
tattoo the hot chick. What a
sweetheart. This goes way out in left field
as problems arise during the design process with Keith’s over powering
correction of the design. Jay cannot
seem to keep it together as he loses it in the commentary; it is through this
upset with Keith that Jay makes a bid for “Whine Master Glory” as he
continuously mocks Keith in a fashion of an arrogant douche bag. Not that Keith doesn’t deserve it, he isn’t
really a team player and his super imposed sense of superiority leaves me with
serious “get off my TV” vibes. Lydia’s
design nails the challenge; the execution however, is where this tattoo goes
soaring off the rails. Keith decides
mid-tattoo to scrap the agreed upon color pallet and go with a different shade
of brown all together, he also changes lines in the designs causing two distinct
eagles. To say Jay was livid is an
understatement, and if you think Ink Master’s favorite Mountain Man can take a
note from Disney’s Frozen and “just let it go,” you are beyond mistaken.
Team three up for judgment was Sausage, Bubba and
Roland. Right away, Sausage throws a
tiny tantrum, clearly a case of “but I don’t want to!” the only this missing
was the foot stomp that my three year old does when I tell him that he has to
share his toys. What’s his problem? Apparently Roland. Roland could not be more oblivious to
Sausages distain for his work and volunteers to design a rose to be tattooed on
the wrist, however after the way he acted during the designing process wasn’t a
clue, what happens later in the show was a clear sign. As Roland works away at a clear and concise
rose for the team of Sausage and Bubba (does anyone else feel like that should
be the name of a truck stop?) Sausage
can’t help butting in every other line.
How Roland doesn’t just reach back and pencil him in the eye like a
prisoner with a shiv is beyond me. With
the completed drawing the team sets to work and the end result is solid. Granted there is a shading inconsistency at
the top of the rose but, there is definitely a spot on resemblance. Good job guys!
Following up with team four was Halo, Kyle and King
Ruck. Seeing Halo and Kyle on a team
made me smile, let’s face it I do really like these two and the energy they
have brought to the show. Halo keeps it
even keeled but, has some very strong words about how he feels, and despite the
outburst Kyle tends to be the more relaxed presence. In this tradition they decide to let King
take the design element on their pair of owls.
Instead of helicoptering over King the two seem to take the time to plan
a cohesive color scheme that will allow the two to produce a consistent
image. This almost works, what works
against them is Halo’s timing and Kyle’s lack of attention. Halo hurries through the line work and it
shows against Kyle’s carefully pulled lines.
The coffin nail for this team is a tinny oval that Kyle forgot to hit
with a pop of yellow in the owls forehead, easy fix but still it’s a ding.
The last team was made up of Scott, Melissa and Jim. A few notes about these players first, I know
that he does good work but there isn’t too much focus on Scott which I think is
bizarre since is clearly a threat to the other tattoos. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t make a scene
really and is a bit more gracious about the critiques so far, almost reminiscent
of the last winner, Joey Hamilton.
Melissa, even though she has some of the lowest amount of experience,
seems to be giving women a positive light in this competition. She takes the challenges head on and tries
with a force, I like that shit. What I
do not like is Jim. Now it’s kind of
unfair, but he looks strikingly similar to my son’s father who is a deeply
disliked individual in my life. Sorry
Jim, but I kind of want you off my TV, like, yesterday. With those mixed feelings out of the way we
get to the lion that the team was asked to fabricate on this pair of
beauties. The major point of conjecture
was the weight in the color. Scott popped
in way more black than Jim and the tattoo was much better for it. While it was a good tattoo, Jim’s lion just
did not have the same bight as Scott’s and therefore it lost major points in consistency.
In the end it is team three, (Sausage, Bubba, Roland)
that comes out victorious with their clean rose tattoos. You would think, that maybe after helping him
with a win Sausage would back off of Roland, this however is clearly not the
case as everyone decompresses for the elimination challenge. Speaking of compression it turns out that
David has suffered from broken vertebra after a motorcycle accident last year
and the odd way of sitting through the flash challenge has caused his back to
seize and he must go to the emergency room for assistance or he won’t be able
to tattoo at all. Still despite the pain
he is determined to turn something in for the elimination challenge which is “geometric
design.” Sausage and Bubba get the opportunity
to assign projects the worst and most unwanted of which is a maze on a gentleman’s
ass. That pleasure is given to Lydia,
who immediately attempts to talk her client out of the ass and brings up good
design issues that allows her to move it to his side. Jay however is not doing as great a job
talking with his canvas and on top of every other douche comment, tells the
camera about his desire to crush her with a tool box. You sir are classy.
Everyone seems to be stumbling along with these strange
requests, but the artist suffering the most is obviously David. He seems to be frantically rushing to get ink
into the skin but, what he’s honestly doing is beating the man’s arm to red,
sore, burger and he cannot even finish the tattoo. I feel for his pain but, if it continues what
would happen to future canvases. There
have been consistence leave the show for medical reason’s before, there shouldn’t
be any shame in taking care of your health.
After the challenge the artist recoup for a moment before
judging, and in an act of kindness Sausage expresses that he is happy that
David pushed through the pain of his injury and wishes him luck. This nice moment, totally destroyed by Jay
who decides to shit all over it by stating that David is using it as a cop out,
which is funny because it wasn’t like he was attempting sympathy. In response David explains that he tried and
if it sends him home he will be upset but, he would understand. Now that is class.
The artists are called in for judging and these are my
notes:
David: Let’s not
beat around the bush, this is a horrible tattoo. The lines and the shades are completely off
and the skin it’s self is beaten and red.
It’s sad because I know it was pain that lead to this but, it’s also sad
that someone has to walk around with that.
Roland: It’s a
clean lotus looking tattoo and the black is packed in nicely but it is extremely
simple and doesn’t read geometric to me.
Melissa: Got to
work on pulling smooth lines girl! There
just doesn’t seem to be a flow to the element of design in this piece.
Kyle: Perfect
circle with an amazing thin outline, keep your head out of your ass please!
Jim: I actually
really loved this design, well done example of geometric pattern.
Scott: Good design
but the edges are far too rounded; the points need to be crisp and clean as
well as evenly weighted.
Randy: That is a
drop shadow nightmare! The tattoo is way
too busy and really over shaded.
Halo: Well balanced
and consistent line work, however I keep getting tripped up due to me personal
tastes and not really caring for the idea.
Sorry.
Jay: The shades
are nice and even, your line weights and design however, really blow.
Bubba: The design
fades into nothingness which really detracts from the overall design.
King: That was a wobbly lined disaster! How could you
think that was even?
Matti: You tatted
around the guy’s nipple and lost dude… GTFO!
Lydia: Not much to
say, the shapes seem too rounded and it seems to lack an element of design.
Sausage:
Awesome! I love the overall
design and symmetrical and identical pyramids as they flow through a sea of
correct placement.
Keith: It’s a
horse, made of blue blocks. Your color
choice was nice, that outline however, not so much.
The judges decide that Sausage gets top tattoo of the day
and the ability to select an artist for elimination. This seems to really get to sausage and he chokes
up a little explaining that he picks Roland because he doesn’t believe that
Roland has the chops to compete in this competition. The other artist up is David selected by the
human canvas jury and Bubba by the judges.
In the end, we have to say goodbye to David as he emotionally packs his
shop. I am sorry to see him go but I
wish him good health and a continued recovery.
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